Bleach Porn Story: Mine

Bleach Porn Story: Mine

Chapter 20

A Dark Past

Edo, Spring 1788, Seireitei Underground Training Facility

The sound of metal clashing against metal was like an aphrodisiac to the dark-skinned woman observing the brutal training session. Yoruichi watched her young lover’s bare torso twist and flex as he parried each blow sent his way by the monstrous Kenpachi Zaraki. His tanned skin was coated with a fine sheen of sweat and Yoruichi couldn’t help but appreciate the way that skin played over his rapidly developing musculature. When Ichigo first came to Seireitei, he was thin but his muscles were strong and toned from defending his family. Now, little more than a year after being with Yoruichi, his body had undergone quite a transformation. If not for his innocent-looking face, she would have never guessed him to be fifteen.

Gods, how she loved watching him. It was like every move he made was intended to be provocative-even though she knew that wasn’t the case. Yoruichi didn’t know why, but everything about this boy screamed carnality. Without question, his looks were beyond exceptional, but she had seen many pretty boys come and go-he’s the only one who kept her attention. There was just something about this one that drew her inexorably to him…whatever that may be. The strange thing about it was the fact that he didn’t want any attention at all. When he first came to her, Ichigo was painfully shy and introverted. No matter how pleasurable he found the act to be, he would always try to avoid sex. Another odd thing about this shy, young man was his innate sexual prowess. Anything she taught him was performed with the skill of a man twice his age. As unwilling as he was to initiate sex with her, once he was into it…the boy was a mad fucking genius at it.

Since beginning his combat training a few months ago, Ichigo seemed to be coming out of his shell more and more. After some very intense training sessions, he finally started seeking her out for sex. The first time it happened, Yoruichi was shocked because not only did he want sex…he wanted it rough. Thus began his initiation into the fine art of sadism and masochism. It was actually quite strange that shy little Ichigo really seemed to enjoy giving and receiving pain-and Ichigo really enjoying himself was so fucking delicious. Yoruichi couldn’t wait until this fight ended…she was already so wet for him that it was ridiculous.

She was startled out of her musings by the annoyed voice of her husband, “Ahhh, wifey-chan…thinking about molesting that child again this evening?”

Yoruichi rolled her eyes at what had become his favorite subject, “What the hell do you want Kisuke?

“I just want the pleasure of my beautiful wife’s company tonight,” he said with a sly look.

“Not tonight…I have other plans,” Yoruichi replied evasively.

“AAhhh…I have no doubt that you did have other plans however, your plans have just changed, my love.” Kisuke’s smile widened when he saw his wife’s angry reaction.

“Look, husband, I don’t want to spend time with you and I’m not going to, you idiot!”

“Wifey-chan, you wound me,” his dramatically hurt look was ruined when his grin immediately returned, “However it seems you and I may have a bit of a problem.” His look turned serious in a second,

Yoruichi tensed at his uncharacteristically serious reply, “I don’t want you seeing that boy anymore, I think you’re becoming much too emotionally involved with him.”

Yoruichi let out her pent up breath, “Is that all, baka? Because if that’s it, let me ease your mind…I am not emotionally attached to him. I fuck him. There is a big difference, as you well know.”

“If you’re not attached, then why is it you haven’t had sex with me or anyone else since the arrival of this child…and more importantly, why hasn’t he? That is why you brought him here, correct? To work for you…servicing customers?”

Yoruichi silently fumed as he continued referring to Ichigo as a ‘child’ but outwardly kept her cool, “It’s very simple-I enjoy him. He is new and different and very, very good in spite of his young age. The reason he hasn’t taken customers yet is because I’m still training him.” Yoruichi crossed her arms over her generous chest and Kisuke cocked his head to the side, watching her glare at him.

“I don’t think so,” He said confidently, “You don’t want to share him with anyone else…isn’t that right, Yoruichi? You just said that the boy is very talented at sex therefore I see no reason for you to continue training him.”

Yoruichi looked flustered by his words and her anger was beginning to show, “You and I have always had an open marriage-you’ve been free to screw whoever you want and I can do the same-you can’t change the rules this late in the game, Kisuke. I want Ichigo and I’ll have him until I’ve had my fill. There is nothing you can do about it.”

“You’ve got things a little bit confused, Yorui-chan, an open marriage means that I share you with others…not give you away completely. I am still your husband and I want what is mine. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you love this boy…”

Yoruichi reared back in shock, “Love him…What the hell is wrong with you! Of course I don’t love him! He means nothing to me beyond this obvious physical attraction. Creatures like you and I don’t love, Kisuke…you know better than that.”

“I’m not so sure anymore, Yoruichi…perhaps it’s not love but you are definitely obsessed with him-and neglecting me-and that ends right now.” Urahara stared at his wife without blinking, daring her to contradict him.

Yoruichi lowered her head for a moment and then raised defiant yellow eyes to his, “I won’t give him up.”

His eyes never wavering from hers, Kisuke continued, “I don’t think you understand, Yorui-chan, you have no choice…it ends now. If he doesn’t take a customer tonight, I will beat that boy within an inch of his life,” Her outraged gasp was drowned out by her resolute spouse’s next words, “And if you fuck him again, I’ll kill the sonuva bitch.” It was said with such calm finality that Yoruichi had no doubt he would follow through. Kisuke never made idle threats. He would kill Ichigo and that she could not allow.

She took a deep breath and looked toward her favorite obsession. She actually felt tears of rage forming in her eyes as she contemplated her loss, “Fine,” she whispered, “I won’t touch him again and…I’ll make sure he is with someone else tonight.”

Kisuke smiled with satisfaction upon hearing his wife’s agreement, “I’m glad you see it my way, Yorui-chan.” The blonde man attempted to touch his wife’s face but she pulled violently away from him, “Don’t touch me you jealous sonuva bitch!” Ichigo saw them arguing and looked at Yoruichi with concern. Urahara noticed his gaze and turned to leave, “I’ll let you break the news to your little toy, Yoruichi…and remember, I always keep my word, so don’t cross me.” Yoruichi shook with barely suppressed rage and glared at his retreating back.

Ichigo placed a soothing hand on her shoulder and asked, “Yoruichi-san…is everything okay?”

The supremely pissed off woman felt her anger boiling over and his solicitous concern sent her over the edge, “Of course not, you stupid boy!” She would show Kisuke exactly how little she felt for this boy. She grabbed the hand he put on her shoulder in a painful grip and twisted until the shocked young man went to his knees, grimacing in pain. “Y-Yoruichi-san…what did I do?”

Kisuke watched the exchange with hooded eyes and smirked at his wife’s violent actions, “So mean, Yoruichi…so mean.” He didn’t need to see any more and left without another word.

Yoruichi steeled herself against Ichigo’s pleading eyes and slapped his upturned face. “I didn’t say you could speak,” she hissed through clenched teeth, “I am the master here and you are my slave…it’s time you start acting like it.”

Ichigo looked up at her, eyes wide with hurt and confusion, “Yorui…?”

A vicious slap to the other cheek stopped him from saying more, “I said don’t speak! You’ve had enough coddling from me-it’s time you start earning the ridiculous amount of money I pay to keep your sisters in luxury. You’ll have your first customer tonight.”

Ichigo simply nodded in resignation. She drug the silent boy up by his hair, “Go to your room and bathe yourself thoroughly. I’ll be up later to make sure you dress appropriately for your first night.”

“Hai, Yoruichi-sama, I will do as you wish.” Ichigo had never been allowed in the common room of Seireitei because Yoruichi never wanted patrons to think he was available. He’d seen several other slaves prepare for the night and he always blushed at the revealing clothes they wore…he hoped that Yoruichi wouldn’t make him look like that.

Yoruichi left the training grounds and went straight to her office to get a handle on herself. She was so furious that she could rip her stupid husband’s head off and to make matters worse, she had attacked Ichigo in her anger. It had been a very long time since she’d lost control of her emotions like that. Several rounds of sake later, she was still pissed off and irritable, but she knew that it was time to prepare Ichigo for Seireitei. She made her way up to his room and went inside without knocking.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ichigo bathed and threw on a pair of loose trousers as he waited for Yoruichi to arrive. He couldn’t help but think about the night ahead of him and his trepidation grew. He had never been with anyone but Yoruichi and while that always felt wrong, it was nothing compared to the thought of being sold to a stranger. To keep his mind off of his troubles, Ichigo decided that he would get a workout while he waited.

When Yoruichi walked in, the site that greeted her made her mouth go dry. Ichigo was doing pushups and every muscle on his young torso stood out beautifully. When he saw her enter, he stood and wiped the sweat away with a towel. Yoruichi started toward him but stopped herself before she got too close. What the hell is it about this kid that makes me lose all reason? Well, it won’t work tonight… “I thought I told you to get clean,” she snapped.

“Sorry, I did but then I got nervous and I thought a workout might help me relax,” he said quietly.

The inebriated woman hardened her heart and mind against him-she simply could not afford anymore softness toward Ichigo. It was past time that she started treating him like the possession he was. “Take those sweaty things off and wash again.”

Yoruichi turned away from temptation as he did what she asked. When he finished, she threw a soft, brown pair leather pants at him, “Put these on,” she commanded.

The pants rode low on his hips-showing off his lean, but well-defined abs to perfection. Yoruichi decided that he should go shirtless because in her experience, there was nothing sexier than a hot guy with a tattoo and no shirt. She applied scented oil to his entire upper body and did her best to not notice how wonderful he felt under her hands. When she finished that, she had Ichigo sit down as she brought out a pot of thick, black liquid. “What is this, Yoruichi-sama?”

“This is powdered galena mixed with oil-called kohl-and I’m going to apply it to your eyes. I’ve found that customers enjoy this look.” As she spoke, she used a brush to expertly apply a thick line of black underneath his eye and another one on the upper eyelid. The effect was dramatic and Yoruichi seemed pleased with her efforts, “We’re all done, Ichigo…are you ready.”

“Yoruichi-sama, I’m not sure what to do once I get down there…”

“Ichigo, you don’t have to do anything-trust me, I’m going to be fighting people off of you.”

The young man gulped and took a steadying breath as he followed his benefactor out of his room and down into the den of iniquity that was Seireitei.

XXXXXXXXXX

When Yoruichi arrived in the common room with Ichigo, every eye was drawn to the stunning pair. When Ichigo felt the stares of all those people, his eyes widened and he took a step back. Yoruichi noticed his reticent behavior and took his hand with an encouraging smile-he looked so innocent right now, she could only imagine what that look was doing to her customers

“Yoruichi,” he said in a panicked whisper, “I don’t think I can do this.”

Her eyes narrowed, “You can and you will do this…you have no choice. You belong to me, Ichigo, and if you defy me your sisters will be the ones who pay the price.” Ichigo looked shocked by her threat but there was no more time to think.

Yoruichi turned toward the appreciative crowd and cleared her throat before speaking loudly to them all, “Good evening, my lovely patrons. Tonight, I have a special treat for you,” she pulled a nervous Ichigo to her side, “This is Ichigo. He has been my personal pet for a little over a year now and I’ve decided to share him with all of you. He’s going to be on display for a little while so you can get a good look at him and then I’ll take offers in my office for who will have him tonight.” When she finished speaking, several people began walking towards Ichigo. “Ah, ah, ah…only look, people. No touching unless I accept your offer for him-at least for tonight.” Several groans of disappointment could be heard throughout the room. After a few minutes, Yoruichi retired to her office and a large group of women and men followed her to place their bids.

Ichigo swallowed hard at the way he was being auctioned like a damn farm animal. “Hey, kid…you okay?” A man who looked to be a few years older than Ichigo asked. He had blue hair and wore loose white pants held on by a black sash. He had an angry-looking black panther tattooed on his left bicep and, like Ichigo, he had kohl lining his eyes-only his matched the color of his hair. “Uhh, I guess I’m okay,” Ichigo said unconvincingly. “I’ve seen you around here but Yoruichi didn’t really allow me to socialize with anyone but her so I don’t know your name.”

“The name’s Grimmjow, but my friends call me Grimm.” He stuck his hand out and Ichigo took it and returned the greeting, “I’m Ichigo.”

“Listen, kid, I’ve been working for Yoruichi a couple of years now and I can tell you, it does get easier…the first night is always the hardest.”

“I see she gave you a tat as well,” Grimm said with a knowing grin, “She only puts those on her favorites, ya know? It’s kind of a rating system for her customers…if you’ve got a bad-ass tattoo, that means you’re good and she’s gonna charge a helluva lot for you.”

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh, “Ahh, I don’t know about that…she just said she likes the way it looks.”

As more people came back from Yoruichi’s office, they started surrounding the sinfully good-looking men. Ichigo started getting agitated again, but Grimm just kept talking as though he was used to this kind of attention. “So, how old are you?”

“Uhhh…I’m 15, what about you?” Ichigo asked while trying to ignore the lustful people all around him.

“I just turned 19 last month…”

“Grimm-kitty,” A soft, female voice intruded. A beautiful, voluptuous woman with long, green hair arrived next to Grimmjow and slipped her arm around his trim waist. “I leave for five minutes and I find you surrounded by women and…oh, hello,” she said, just noticing Ichigo.

“Nel,” Grimm interjected as he put his arm around the woman’s shoulders, “This is Ichigo…it’s his first night. Ichigo, this lovely lady’s name is Neliel.”

Ichigo inclined his head respectfully, “Nice to meet you, Neliel-san.”

“Awww! Grimm, he’s so adorable!” She squealed as she broke away from Grimmjow and enveloped Ichigo in a bear hug with more strength than Ichigo thought a woman her size should possess. “I just wanna hug him and squeeze him.”

Ichigo was just about to pass out from oxygen deprivation since his face had ended up between the young woman’s large breasts, when Grimmjow pulled her back. “Yoruichi’s not lettin’ anybody touch the kid tonight-including you Nel-chan.”

Nel reluctantly released Ichigo and pouted prettily, “I didn’t know…he’s just so cute that I couldn’t help but hug him!”

Grimm sighed and rolled his eyes, well-used to the young woman’s antics, “Well, I’ve gotta go make Nel a very happy woman, so good luck tonight.”

“Thanks, I think I’ll need it,” Ichigo ruefully replied.

Grimm grinned widely, “See ya ’round, kid!” Ichigo gave a small wave to the pair and he was left alone to deal with the ravenous stares of those around him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

“Come now, Yoruichi-san, I know you’ve received no offers that could possibly top mine.”

Yoruichi took a big gulp of sake as she watched the man in front of her. She knew him very well and what she knew, she didn’t really like. He was a very handsome man with short, blue-black hair and golden eyes, but Yoruichi knew that his looks were only skin deep. This man was one of the most maniacal humans she’d ever known…and he was Kisuke’s best friend. She knew without a doubt that her ass-of-a-husband sent this devil to test her…after all, if she let him fuck Ichigo, then she couldn’t possibly love the boy. She knew she had to do it, but it was sure as hell going to cost him.

Yoruichi took another long drink before speaking, “I’ll accept triple that and not a bit less.”

The man raised his eyebrow at the exorbitant amount and smirked at her, “Done.”

Yoruichi closed her eyes for a moment; He’s going to have to get used to all kinds of clients…might as well start with the worst. Her resolve cemented, Yoruichi spoke once more to the man, “I’ll have to be in the room with you…I won’t allow you to brutalize him like you did the last one. Poor Kira never recovered from the torture you inflicted on him.”

The man’s smile grew wider, “I believe I compensated you well-enough for his loss, however I don’t have a problem with your terms, Yoruichi-san. As long as I’m the first man to touch this boy, I don’t care who is in the room. Oh, and I promise I’ll be more gentle with this one…I won’t even bring my tools with me.”

Yoruichi’s lip curled in disgust, but it had to be done. “Then it’s settled. His room is on the top floor-to the right…you go on up and I’ll bring him to you.” The man nodded and turned to leave.

Yoruichi sank down into her chair and dropped her head into her hands, “Damn you, Kisuke,” she whispered. Of all the people he could have sent to test her, he had to send the worst of the worst…Kurotsuchi Mayuri.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Yoruichi was well and truly drunk when she finally rescued Ichigo from the throng of people surrounding him and brought him to her office. “I’ve decided who you’ll be entertaining tonight…and I think I need to prepare you.”

Ichigo really didn’t like the sound of that.

“You’re going to be with Urahara-san’s best friend, Kurotsuchi Mayuri.”

He looked up at her in disbelief, “But that sounds like a man’s name…” Yoruichi said nothing but the look in her eyes was all the answer he needed. Ichigo shot to his feet and planted his hands on her desk, “No…I won’t do it and you can’t make me!”

“Calm down, Ichigo, I’ll be in the room to make sure he doesn’t hurt you too much.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Yoruichi! I am not having sex with a man!” Ichigo’s shouted, panic obvious in his voice.

“Once again, you have no choice. You will do this… it’s time for you to be a man and start earning your keep!”

“The fuck I will!” Ichigo tried to leave her office, but when he saw Kenpachi and Ikkaku blocking the exit, he slammed the door shut. “You can’t be serious,” He said while leaning on the door with his eyes shut.

Yoruichi spoke in a low voice, “I never lied to you, did I? I was clear when I said you would be having sex with anyone I told you to, wasn’t I?”

“But I never thought that you meant I’d have to be with…men. I-I just can’t do this Yoruichi…please don’t make me do this,” he pleaded.

At that moment, he looked every bit the 15 year old boy he was and Yoruichi felt a twinge of regret that she immediately squashed. “You’re not going to change my mind…no matter how much you wish it was different, this is your life now.” At his crestfallen look, Yoruichi drove her point home, “Don’t forget all that I’ve done for you…I took your family in off the streets and gave you wonderful homes and plenty of food to eat. In exchange for that, you agreed to my terms…if you renege on our bargain, I’ll have to get compensation in some other way. How long do you think your little sisters would last in this life?”

Ichigo’s head shot up and fire burned in his eyes, “Fine,” He gritted out between clenched teeth, “Let’s just get this over with.”

Yoruichi nodded and stood, “Ken-chan, Ikkaku-san…could you please come in here.” The two men entered and waited while Yoruichi spoke, “I’ll need you to accompany us upstairs…Ichigo is a bit unwilling and I may need your assistance.” Yoruichi walked out followed by Ichigo, Kenpachi, and Ikkaku.

The closer they got to his room, the more anxious he became. When Yoruichi opened the door, she moved aside to allow Ichigo and his ‘escorts’ to enter. He froze on the spot when he saw the tall man standing in the middle of his room in nothing but a yukata. Mayuri smirked at Ichigo’s panic-stricken face and walked until he stood directly in front of the young man, “So nice to meet you, Ichigo…you and I are going to get along just fine.”

When the bastard raised his hand to touch Ichigo’s face, he just snapped, “Don’t touch me, you sick freak!” He turned to run out of the room but was stopped by two iron grips on his arms.

“Ohhh…” Mayuri cackled, “He’s a lively one, Yoruichi. I like it when my prey fights back…makes things more interesting.

Yoruichi ignored him and spoke to Kenpachi, “Put him facedown on the bed and chain him up.”

Ichigo fought hard against his captors but in then end, he was overpowered by the two men. “Please Yorui,” he begged as they clapped the manacles on his wrist and ankles, “Please don’t make me do this…please!

Yoruichi looked guiltily away from his pleading eyes, “Thank you gentlemen-that will be all.” Kenpachi gave Ichigo a pitying glance as he walked out of the room. When the men had gone, she nodded at Mayuri and sat down on the nearest couch.

“So as long as I don’t beat or torture him, you won’t interfere…correct?” When Yoruichi nodded her assent, Mayuri smiled broadly and made his way toward the bed. He knelt down next to Ichigo’s head and reached out to touch his silky hair. Ichigo tried to jerk away, but there was only so far he could go with those chains on. The older man gripped his hair hard and turned Ichigo’s face toward him and spoke quietly, “I’m really going to enjoy breaking you, boy.”

Ichigo’s eyes widened and he renewed his struggles against the chains, “Get away from me!” The man just laughed in delight at Ichigo’s obvious fear.

Mayuri ran his hand down Ichigo’s back and smiled when he fought harder. His hand continued down to his ass and then up between his legs.

Ichigo whimpered when the man ripped his pats and pulled the torn material away, exposing him to Mayuri’s lecherous gaze. “Stop…please,” the frightened boy begged.

“Awww…poor thing,” Mayuri whispered in his ear, “This is really going to hurt…”

Ichigo screamed in pain as the evil man brutally violated him. Tears ran down his face and his terrified eyes begged Yoruichi to make it stop. When she saw his blood soaking the sheets, she nearly gave in and stopped the monster. Yoruichi felt choked by self-hatred as she watched her beautiful boy break before her very eyes.

His pain and fear excited the rapist even more and caused the man to pound into him that much harder. After several minutes, Ichigo stopped begging. Tears poured unconsciously down his cheeks and his eyes were blank as his mind retreated deep into itself. When the disgusting creature was finished with him, he slithered up his body, grabbed Ichigo by the hair and yanked his head back hard. He gave a long lick to his cheek as he whispered, “Was it as good for you as it was for me?” he laughed evilly. Ichigo didn’t respond at all.

“That’s enough, Mayuri…you’re finished so get out,” Yoruichi snapped. Ichigo’s tormenter dressed and with one last smile at Ichigo’s broken body, left the room. Yoruichi just sat there for a minute, trying to compose herself before walking over to the bed and covering him with a sheet.

Ichigo was gripping the bed so hard, his knuckles were white and his wrists were mangled and bloody from struggling against the chains. When she released him, he didn’t move for several minutes-still in shock from the pain and psychological torment he just experienced. Finally, as though waking from a nightmare, he blinked and curled his traumatized body into a ball.

Yoruichi sat next to him on the bed and reached out to touch him. As he continued to stare at nothing, she stroked his hair gently, “Ichigo,” she said softly, “I’m so sorry.” He didn’t acknowledge her words in the slightest, but Yoruichi continued speaking as she lay down facing him, “I will never make you do this again, I swear. I will never let a man touch you again…I’m so sorry, okiniiri. I shouldn’t have done this to you…no matter what Kisuke wanted, I shouldn’t have allowed this.”

They stayed that way until Ichigo finally fell into an exhausted sleep. He didn’t even stir when Yoruichi cleaned the blood from his battered body. She put a thick blanket over his shivering form and lay back down next to him.

Ichigo slept until late afternoon of the next day. When he woke up, a maid that Yoruichi had keeping an eye on him rushed to have a bath prepared for him. He couldn’t seem to scrub his skin hard enough to get rid of the feel of that man on his body and he stayed in the tub until the water was cold. Yoruichi sent a platter of his favorite foods up, but instead of eating, he dressed much like Yoruichi dressed him the night before as the maids cleaned all evidence of last night from his room. It was dark by the time he finally made it downstairs and he went straight to the common room.

Yoruichi saw him enter-as did every other healthy female of breeding age-and she watched every move he made. When she made her way over to him, she could see that his eyes were still hollow. “Ichigo, you don’t have to be here tonight.”

He didn’t even spare her a glance as he walked into the middle of the bustling room. Several women approached him and when he turned the full force of his charm on them, they were eating out of his hand. He chose one of them and without another word, they made their way upstairs. Not one time since that night did he speak of what was done to him and neither did Yoruichi.

As time went by, Ichigo came to rely heavily on the drugs Yoruichi supplied for him. His visits to Karin and Yuzu dwindled down to nothing and all of his free time was spent with his best friend, Grimm. Their favorite things to do were getting wasted and fighting. The two most gorgeous men of Seireitei were highly sought after and to party with both of them was very expensive…but alwaysworth it. Ichigo eventually decided that there were only two things that he was very good at: fighting and fucking, so he threw himself wholeheartedly into both of them.

After that fateful night, Ichigo’s combat training took a decidedly sinister turn. The darkness that abated during his first year with Yoruichi came back with a vengeance. No longer were his matches friendly. Instead, every punch he threw, every slice he made was filled with malice and hatred. He remembered Kenpachi forcing him down on that bed and rage filled his heart and pumped throughout his body. When his eyes changed color for the first time, Kenpachi was nearly beaten to death. Urahara was the one who dragged Ichigo off of the unconscious man. None of them were really sure what Ichigo was, but they figured he was probably part demon. Ironically, it was Kisuke that taught Ichigo how to suppress the darkness within him.

Yoruichi was immensely relieved that Ichigo seemed fine after the incident and eventually, she downplayed the whole event in her mind. She forced herself to forget what actually happened and focused on the present, although she never forced him to do that again.

She may have forgotten but Ichigo never did. When he was alone, nightmares would plague him and he would awaken with a scream stuck in his throat. He never forgave Yoruichi for what she did even though he pretended like none of it ever happened. An innocent boy died on that horrible night and in his place stood this new, dangerous and sensual creature. May the gods have mercy on them all if he ever released the iron grip he held on his emotions…

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