Chapter 29
Aizen Sosuke was happily dining on a most succulent blood meal when he was rudely interrupted, “This had better be good, Szayel.”
“You know that red-haired ruffian from the Kuchiki clan…their second in command?” At his master’s nod, Szayel continued, “Well, he’s downstairs right now begging to see you.”
Sosuke looked contemplative and tapped a finger on his chin, “Is he now?” Having just recently replied to the missive from Kuchiki Byakuya regarding the betrothal of their children, Sosuke was curious as to why the Soudaishou would send his second. “Send him to my study and then,” He snapped the neck of the girl he was feeding from, “Clean up this mess.”
The effeminate man grimaced in distaste but bowed lowly to his lord, “Hai, Aizen-sama.”
Sosuke dressed meticulously, making sure that his guest was left waiting an inordinately long amount of time. When he was satisfied with his appearance, and the wait time, he made his way down to the first floor study where he normally held small meetings. When he entered the room, the red-haired man rose from his chair and bowed respectfully. Sosuke was surprised to see that the second to Kuchiki Byakuya was ragged, filthy, and looked as though he’d been recently beaten. Intrigued, he sat behind his desk and nodded to the young man, “Abarai-san, please forgive me for stating the obvious but, you look like you might fall down at any moment-please, sit.”
“Thank you, Aizen-sama, and please forgive me for appearing in your home in such a state but this is part of the reason that I’m here.”
Aizen Sosuke was no fool. It was obvious that this vile creature was no longer r favored by the Kuchiki house and was planning some sort of revenge. However, Sosuke was curious-and bored-so he decided to humor him and act the part of a generous benefactor, “Oh? I would love to know how it is you came to be in such a state…and in my home…but first, would you care for some dinner?” Aizen chuckled at the man’s ravenous nod and signaled for food to be brought to his guest. When it arrived, Abarai dug in like a pig to slop.
Aizen leaned forward on his desk and steepled his fingers beneath his chin, “So, Abarai-san, tell me what brings you here.”
Renji swallowed quickly and spoke, “I am here to beg entrance into your clan.”
Before he could help it, Sosuke let out a bark of laughter, “Is that so?” He asked, amusement lacing his words.
Renji’s face matched his hair as anger suffused it from the obvious insult. He managed to hold in his anger and did his best to continue as if he hadn’t just been laughed at, “That is correct, Aizen-sama. I believe I can be a valuable asset to your clan…as you know, I was Kuchiki Byakuya’s fukutaicho. If you give me a place within your clan, I could provide you with information about him that you could definitely appreciate.”
“Really,” Aizen still had amusement in his eyes, “And what makes you think that I need or want any information on Kuchiki Byakuya?”
“Knowledge is power, Aizen-sama, and what I know could be very helpful to you if you want to gain power over him.”
Sosuke considered his words for a moment, “Tell me, Abarai-san,” He stared the ragged man dead in the eye, “Why would I want someone who obviously lacks honor to join my clan?”
Renji stood, incensed that he was being insulted, yet again, “I do NOT lack honor!” He shouted, “I was exiled from the Kuchiki clan because I fought with Rukia’s new plaything!”
This had his interest, “Her plaything? Kuchiki-san’s slave, you mean?” Renji nodded. “Sit back down, Abarai-san, it seems I may have use for you after all.” At Renji’s confused look, Sosuke clarified, “You see, my daughter has expressed an interest in her slave and I’d like to know more about him.”
Renji looked slightly confused, but answered, “What do you want to know?”
Aizen looked irritated by this vagrant’s blatant stupidity and snapped, “What do you know about the boy?”
Renji sat back, sensing he’d pushed the powerful man too far, “Uhhh, well, I don’t really know much but I know that Rukia is way too attached to him. I’ve never seen her act so…viciously on behalf of a man before.”
“Interesting,” Aizen mused before nodding at Renji to continue. “What else?”
“There’s really not much…errr, well, there is one thing. The kid…he’s some kind of demon.”
“Oh?” Aizen leaned forward with interest. His daughter told him that the boy was human. Curious. “What do you mean, ‘some kind of demon’?”
“When I was fighting him, he was very strong and fast, and then he changed and got stronger and faster. When his eyes changed, they were…weird.”
Sosuke frowned, “What does that mean?”
“Well, they didn’t turn black like ours do…instead, the whites of his eyes turned black and the irises turned bright gold…it was some real freaky shit.”
Aizen sat back in his desk, stunned, although he didn’t outwardly show it. It can’t be. “This boy, did you defeat him?”
Renji’s face turned red once more, “I…uhhh…well, no.”
Sosuke sat a few more minutes, absently playing with his letter opener, just processing all of this new information. When Renji cleared his throat, the Soudaishou looked up as though just now remembering his presence, “So, Aizen-sama, about joining your clan…”
“Yes, about that…” Sosuke wasted no more words as he sent the letter opener flying into the other man’s throat, “Your request has been denied.” Renji’s response was the gurgle of his own blood choking him.
Aizen made his way back to his chair and propped his feet up on his desk as a wide smile stretched his face. Interesting…
~X~
Rukia and Rangiku left the Kuchiki estate in a blur of sonido. The farther Rukia ran, the more she thought and the faster she ran, the clearer her thoughts became. When the women were halfway to Kyoto, Rukia stopped so suddenly that Rangiku nearly crashed into her.
“What the hell, Rukia?” Ran asked with a perturbed hand on her cocked hip.
Rukia said nothing as she stared straight ahead with a stricken look on her face.
“Rukia…are you alright?” Ran had lost her perturbation and was, instead, worried for her small friend.
Rukia nodded absently and finally drug her gaze to her friend, “I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”
“Whaddya mean, babe?” Ran cocked her head.
Rukia leapt on top of the nearest boulder and sat down, deep in thought, “I mean, I’m doing the same thing I always do to him when something distasteful from his past comes to light…I act impulsively.”
“Well…uhhh…I guess that’s true, but I understand where you’re coming from. If they’ve been together, I think you have a right to know,” Ran said sympathetically.
“But, that’s just it! Just because they had a…sexual…relationship in the past, it doesn’t mean that they’re at my house going at it!”
“That’s also true, Ruki-chan.”
The small demon frowned deeply, “Of course, it doesn’t mean that they’re not, either.” Rangiku joined her atop the boulder and threw her arm around Rukia’s shoulder.
“I get it,” Rukia said softly, “I understand why he didn’t tell me. I would have probably done the same thing in his situation.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, first of all, he knows that Nel and I are friends and he didn’t want us to have any sort of friction. But, most importantly, I don’t think he trusted me enough to tell me the truth.” Ran looked curious but did not interrupt as Rukia continued, “I’ve hurt him so many times…the deep kind of hurt that scars someone for life.”
Rukia proceeded to tell Rangiku all about Ulquiorra’s visit and then told her about the terrible things Ichigo did to himself because of it. When she got through the explanation, Ran looked horrified, “I had no idea that he was that messed up, Rukia.”
“Neither did I,” Rukia’s chin dropped to her chest and she drew in a ragged breath, “He can’t even say my name.” At Ran’s bewildered expression, Rukia expounded. “Since I did those things to him, he hasn’t once said my name. I tried to shrug it off, to pretend it was nothing…to pretend he was fine, but he’s not. He’s not fine at all,” She finished sadly.
“Maybe it is nothing…maybe he’s just being extra cautious around you because he’s afraid to make you angry.”
“Either way, I feel like a complete monster!” Rukia looked into the distant night, “Nel told me that…She told me that this is how Ichigo acted with Yoruichi and the things that woman did to him…well, I guess I’m not much better, now.”
Rukia pulled her knees up to her chest and propped her forehead against them, “I don’t know what to do, Ran.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t understand how he affects me. Like, right now, it’s taking every bit of willpower I possess to not take off and find out what the hell happened between them and what’s happening right now. The things you said earlier are playing out in my mind on this vicious, repeating cycle so that all I can think about is Ichigo touching her, kissing her, fucking her,” Rukia whispered the last bit. “Every ounce of my being wants to be there, confronting Nel about her deceit and, God help me but I’m afraid that I’ll punish Ichigo!” Rukia cried passionately, “I don’t want to hurt him, again…even if he was with them, right now…I don’t want to hurt him ever again. I love him too much, ya know?”
Ran nodded solemnly, “If that’s true, Rukia, then I don’t think you will hurt him. That you’re here, now, talking rationally about this instead of in there busting heads, shows a marked improvement! I’ve really noticed a change in you and I’m so proud of you!” Rangiku squealed and hugged Rukia, the latter disappearing inside Ran’s mountainous pillows of pleasure, before she came up gasping for air.
When she finally regained her breath, Rukia spoke again, “Would you do me a favor, Ran?”
“Anything for you, my little pumpkin puss!”
Rukia rolled her eyes at her friend but continued in all seriousness, “If we get home and something is…not right,” Rukia gulped nervously, “Will you…stop me?”
“Stop you from what, Rukia?”
“Stop me from hurting Ichigo.”
~X~
By the time the two women made it back to their villa, night was beginning to fade. The inky blackness was slowly bowing to the magnificence of the sun’s rays. Part of the sky looked like the color of drying blood and Rukia shivered with a sense of foreboding. She ignored the cold chills running down her spine and thought over her strategy.
The plan was to go and wake Ichigo up so that they could speak rationally about everything. She would calmly explain that she’s not angry and that she understands his reasons, but at the same time, make sure that he understands that she is hurt by his deception.
In theory, everything would go quite well, all bad feelings would be exorcised, and violence between friends would be avoided. In actuality, Rukia knew that everything could go to hell rather quickly with one wrong word or action…because as hard as she was fighting herself to stay sane, she was angry. She was fucking livid.
The intense feelings of jealousy that she’d felt for him from the beginning didn’t just go away. On the contrary, knowing that she was in love with him intensified them. At the same time, that love is the very same thing keeping her jealousy in check. Without it, she knew that her rage would consume her…and Ichigo would pay the price. She couldn’t let that happen. No matter what, she had to stay in control.
Her resolve firmly in place and her temper in check, Rukia and Ran made their way upstairs to Rukia’s bedroom. Ran stood in the hallway, unwilling to intrude on their discussion, as Rukia went forward, “I’m going to be right here and if I hear anything crazy, I’ll step in. Will that work?”
“Yes, that’s perfect…Thanks, Ran.” When Rukia opened the door, she stood there for a full minute not saying a word.
“Rukia, what is it? Are you afraid to go in?”
Rukia shook her head and walked into the room. Her whisper seemed to echo in both their ears, “He’s not here.”
Uh oh, Ran thought as she joined her friend and thought quickly, “Okay, you know how Ichigo is. He loves to leave early to train and ride his horse. He’s probably out there right now doing one of those things!”
Rukia looked hopefully towards her friend, “You’re right. He does that a lot. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s ten miles from here on Diablo.”
“Okay,” Ran said confidently, “I’m going to go to the stables and see if he’s there-or if he’s been there-and if not, I’ll check that place he likes to train. You are not going to panic, right?” Ran’s eyes were quite concerned as she watched her friend. Rukia’s small smile and almost imperceptible nod were her answer. Ran had never seen Rukia look so lost…and it was breaking her heart. “Okay, then,” She said with false enthusiasm, “You stay here and I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Okay,” As soon as Ran left, Rukia sat down on the edge of her bed. She wanted to stay here forever. She didn’t want to listen to the things her heart was saying. Rukia wanted to sit on this bed and wait for Ran to come back and tell her that Ichigo was off riding Diablo. She wanted to…but she couldn’t. She knew. The chill that started in her spine had spread throughout her entire body. She knew. She felt as though she was choking. She knew.
He’s not riding. He’s not training. He’s with her…with them. As her heart squeezed painfully in her chest, Rukia rejected her previous thoughts and clung doggedly to her fading optimism. No, maybe not. It’s entirely possible that he just left early-Very likely, in fact.
Rukia squeezed her eyes shut and mentally berated herself for her cowardice, Why am I doing this? Why am I sitting here, expecting the worst? Kuchiki’s do not fear the unknown. We attack it, head on. She had to know. Rukia straightened her frozen spine and shoved her doubts aside. Until she knew for certain, she would not condemn him. He deserved better than that. He deserved her faith. She wanted to give it to him.
(**Start listening to Mad World by Adam Lambert…Trust me**)
Rukia’s stomach was churning and she felt light-headed as she rose from the bed. Her body was not as strong as her mind and as she felt her knees try to buckle, a hopeful litany rose in her mind. He’s not there. He’s not there. He’s not there. She shoved every other vile and despicable thought from her mind as she began walking slowly to the guest room at the other end of the house. With every step, the litany became her mantra. A silent prayer to whatever god happened to be listening at the time. Finally, she reached the end of the hall and the door was before her. He’s not there. He’s not there. He’s not there. She silently turned the knob, Please, and opened the well-oiled mahogany door.
Everything inside of Rukia froze.
He’s here.
From her vantage point-about 20 feet from the foot of the bed-Rukia saw everything with crystal clarity. Grimmjow was lying on his back, with Nel’s left leg and arm thrown haphazardly across his impressive body; however it was Ichigo’s position that caught and held her expressionless gaze. He was turned toward the other two, as close to Nel as humanly possible. Her head just reached his chin and some of her brightly-colored hair lay over his neck and shoulder. His left arm was wrapped securely around her body, just under her breasts, his new tattoo on prominent display. It’s beautiful, she thought absently, just like him.
With an odd sort of detachment, she noticed how gorgeous they all looked together. Nel’s fair skin and generous curves tucked tightly in between the two dark, stunning males. Flawless, really.
Rukia’s heart broke.
She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. Her face was frozen into a blank mask of shock. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his perfect body, coiled lovingly around her long-time friend.
Surprisingly, at this point, there was no anger or out of control jealousy to contend with. Although she conceded to herself that it would probably come later-when the shock wore off. Right now, the only thing Rukia felt-the only thing she knew-was grief. The mind crushing, soul shattering kind of grief that kills. It rips your insides to shreds and leaves you to die a slow, painful death-a death you relish with every fiber of your being. That was her pain and Rukia broke under the weight of it. She fell silently to her knees.
On the outside, she was silent, but on the inside, she was screaming. Screaming so loud that she was afraid she would wake the occupants of the room…and she didn’t want that. She couldn’t hear him speak false words of love as he tried to make her believe that nothing happened. Rukia knew she couldn’t handle seeing those beautiful, riveting eyes as he lied to her face. Instead, Rukia decided to slip quietly away from him…just until she could breathe again. Just until I can fucking breathe.
Before Rukia could rise from her knees, she started to panic…Ichigo was waking up. Rukia didn’t move…she just watched her lover in frozen silence as his eyes blinked into awareness. He removed his arm from her body and carefully pushed himself up until he was propped on his elbow. Ichigo looked down at Nel for a moment and smiled before placing a loving kiss to the top of her head.
Rukia must have made an unconscious sound of distress because Ichigo’s head turned sharply to the doorway. When he saw her on her knees, the blood drained from his face.
As she rose, silent and graceful, to her feet, trying with every inch to stay sane, Rukia made sure her ‘Kuchiki’ mask was firmly in place.
“Rukia,” he whispered.
That nearly broke her again. She wouldn’t let him see her shatter.
Rukia turned around and walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
~X~
Ichigo dreamed peacefully for the first time in a while. He and Rukia were married and watched as their two adorable little demons sat on top of Diablo for their first riding lesson. He was just about to lean down and kiss his beautiful wife when something woke him.
It took him a few seconds to get his bearings and figure out where he was. He pulled away from his friend and looked down at her. Last night, Nel had given him something he didn’t even know he wanted…hope. Unbelievably grateful for that gift, Ichigo smiled fondly at her and gave her a tiny kiss on the head. A sharply indrawn breath alerted Ichigo to another presence in the room and when he turned toward it, his heart stalled.
Rukia was on her knees with the most heart-broken expression he’d ever seen…and it was because of him. He wanted to erase that look. He wanted to make her smile. He wanted to run to her, kiss her, and hold her tight…but he couldn’t move. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and explain that this wasn’t what it looked like…but his tongue was frozen. He wanted to convey everything he was feeling through his eyes…but she wouldn’t look at them.
All he could manage was a broken whisper, “Rukia.”
Then, she was gone and Ichigo sat unmoving as he stared at the door she had just calmly closed. No…don’t go.
He should follow her. He should run after her and beg her to forgive him for what she thought she saw. Instead, he just sat there.
Nel woke and rolled over to see Ichigo staring at the door, “Ichi, what’s wrong, baby?”
When he didn’t answer, she touched his arm and he recoiled violently. “Don’t touch me,” He whispered, “Please.” He wouldn’t look away from the door.
Ichigo had never acted like this before and Nel was worried, “Ichigo, what the hell happened?” Still, he said nothing.
Grimm sat up and ran one hand through his messy hair as he yawned, “What the fuck is goin on?” Still, he stared.
When Nel looked at Grimm, he got the message, stood up, and walked into Ichigo’s line of sight. “What. The. Fuck?”
Still, his gaze never wavered but he finally spoke, “Rukia.”
Grimmjow’s eyes widened and Nel gasped, “She was here? What happened?” Nel asked, concerned for both her friends.
“She left,” He said quietly. “She saw us together, I woke up, and she left.”
“Did you tell her that nothing happened?”
“I tried, but I couldn’t fuckin get it out and then…she was gone.”
“Shit,” Grimm cursed, “What the hell are you still doin here, dumbass? You need to find the bi-, errr, Kuchiki and explain!”
“I know,” He said simply.
Seeing that Ichigo was obviously in shock, Nel took control, “Get up. Grimm and I are going with you and we’re going to explain everything to her until she damn well believes us!” She pulled him out of the bed and pushed him towards the door. She grabbed a yukata for herself and threw each of them a shirt. “Let’s go,” She said firmly as she ushered them out the door. He donned the shirt she threw at him, but was still barely moving.
Something about this felt wrong.
~X~
Rukia walked like a zombie in the direction of her room. However, when she got there, everything reminded her of him so she chose to leave. She made her way downstairs to her office, sat down in front of her desk, and mechanically poured herself a drink. Her face betrayed no emotion…her thoughts, however, were as chaotic as a summer storm.
Why did he have to do this? Why? The one fucking person in this world that I care about…and he betrays me.
Then it hit her…
If he could do this, did he ever really love me? Was it all a role for him to play? Was every word out of his beautiful fucking mouth a lie?
Rukia shook her head vehemently in denial then dropped it down on the desk.
No, it couldn’t have all been a lie. I finally made him hate me. He loved me before and now he just, doesn’t. So he fucked her to get back at me. Well, if his intention was to punish ME for once…score one for Ichigo.
Once the seed of doubt was planted in her head, she couldn’t rip it out. The grief was still there, but the rage she’d been expecting was slowly winding its way through her soul. Rukia could feel her demon making its presence known and she didn’t have the strength to fight, right now. It wanted out and it was slowly clawing its way free. She propped her elbows on the desk and pulled hard at her hair, trying to get some semblance of control over her emotions but it was a losing battle. Rukia did have the presence of mind to realize that she had to stay far away from Ichigo. Even in this state…she didn’t want to hurt him. She just didn’t know if she’d be able to stop herself. Hopefully he would have enough self-preservation to stay away.
Her mind flashed back to seeing him in bed with her and then it started making up its own images.
Nel on top of him, her hands on his chest as she rode him. Ichigo’s hands gripping her hips, moving her harder and faster, his sexy eyes devouring her. He looks at her the same way he looked at me that day in the forest and then, he tells her he loves her. She makes him cum inside her. Fucking whore.
Rukia was going out of her mind and her eyes were a furious black. She shoved her chair back from the desk, threw it across the room, and began pacing.
It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real. But it was real. It happened. Probably many times.
Rukia stopped pacing and squeezed her eyes shut as her anger condensed into a cold, ruthless rage.
She had her hands on him. Hell, she had her whole fucking body on him. This is her fault…she made him do it. That bitch. That lying, slut of a bitch! I’ll kill her. I’ll rip her fucking hair out and choke her with it.
She stopped abruptly as a calculating look came upon her beautiful face. She smiled wickedly at the thought.
Noooo…no, no, no, no. I know the perfect thing! I’ll make her pay…
Rukia righted her chair and calmly sat back down. Her face was serene as she imagined how the inevitable confrontation would go.
…and he won’t even have to bleed.
Perfect.