Chapter 30
Egypt, 1350 B.C.
Inside the court of Pharaoh Akhenaton, Aizen Sosuke was well-liked. He was a foreigner-an oddity-but the royals loved the novelty of saying he belonged to them. The ruler’s most beloved wife, Nefertiti, was especially enamored of Sosuke, so the inconspicuous demon spent a great deal of time in her company…Those were good times.
After leaving the Queen one night, Sosuke heard a child screaming. Normally, he would have thought nothing of it-children were of no consequence to a thousand year old demon-but for some reason, he went to investigate.
His search led him to a ceremonial room and there, strapped to a cold slab of granite, lay a small child. She was a beautiful little thing, probably no more than two years old, with the dark skin of her ancestors, however her hair was unnaturally golden.
There were several people standing around the slab as its occupant wailed uncontrollably. Sosuke listened as the humans chanted arcane rites and anointed the baby with different oils. “Nira,” The man who seemed to be in charge spoke up, “As bearer of this creature, you will be charged with ending its existence.”
Sosuke watched with morbid fascination as the woman picked up a dagger and advanced on her own daughter. The little girl opened terrified eyes and cried harder as the woman stood poised to strike.
At the last moment, the baby locked eyes with Sosuke. Startling green collided with dark brown and from that moment on, he acted purely on instinct. “What do you think you’re doing, woman?” He growled menacingly.
She dropped her arms and turned to stare at the newcomer. “This is no business of yours,” She hissed.
“I’m making it my business. Why are you torturing this child?”
“That is no child,” A man in ceremonial robes interjected, “She is a demon. Look at her hair and eyes…we have never seen a creature so blatantly touched by evil. Her mother hoped that she would change as she got older; however she hasn’t so she must be eliminated.”
“A demon, you say? You think that tiny, insignificant creature is a demon?” Every one of them nodded. “Really? Have any of you ever seen a demon?” He asked with a vicious smirk.
The Egyptians were becoming uncomfortable with this odd stranger’s presence. “You need to leave,” their leader admonished.
Sosuke walked further into the room and smiled sadistically, “Now why would I do that? You people are obviously misinformed, so I feel it is my duty to correct your thinking.” The great demon spared a glance for the, now silent, child. He spoke softly, sweetly, to her, “Close your eyes, little one…I don’t want to scare you.” The little girl tried to squeeze her eyes shut but her thick lashes fluttered back open only seconds later.
Sosuke didn’t notice the girl as he proceeded to educate every single one of those bastards on the difference between demons and babies…
By the time he was finished, the child was staring in awe at him and the destruction he had wrought. When he finally noticed her, Sosuke cleared his mind and released his demonic state, bringing out comforting brown eyes to replace the frightening black.
He sliced the leather straps that held her down and the child struggled to sit up. “Are you alright, little one?” She nodded. “Are you scared?” She shook her head, no. As Sosuke looked into her bottomless green eyes, he thought about who he could possibly get to care for her.
Before he could come up with a suitable option, she stood up on the slab and held her tiny arms out to him. Sosuke had never held a child before, so he hesitated before picking her up. She scrunched up her tear-stained face, stuck her little lip out in a pout, and squeezed her hands as if beckoning the man to her. He couldn’t resist. When she wrapped her little arms tightly around his neck, nestled her sweet face into his neck, and sighed contentedly…he was lost.
“You wanted to see me, daddy?” The beautiful young woman flopped lazily down on the leather chaise.
“Yes, love,” He smiled indulgently at her. Aizen Sosuke was not normally a man who loved…but this girl had his heart. That she wasn’t his by birth didn’t matter to the normally ruthless man…She was precious to him. Ulquiorra could never compare.
A few hundred years after Sosuke changed Tia, the pair of them visited Romania. It was a very strange country ruled by their superstitions, but they were very hospitable. They were taken in by the noble Schiffer family and treated like visiting dignitaries. Apparently, the Aizen’s were being watched more closely than they knew because the night before they were to leave for Japan, something surprising happened. The Shiffer’s oldest son, Ulquiorra, came to Sosuke and begged to become an immortal. He saw Tia’s eyes light up at the prospect, so the older demon agreed on a whim. They took the boy back with them and turned him shortly after. Afterwards, Ulquiorra turned into some sort of mindless sycophant dedicated to pleasing his ‘master’. Sosuke really didn’t like the boy, but Tia seemed happy to have some sort of sibling, so they kept him. Through the years, Aizen tried to instill some sort of backbone in the lackluster young man; however all of his best efforts were for naught. The insipid creature was spineless when it came to the powerful demon and even though he was occasionally useful, Sosuke still despised him.
Shaking of his memories of that annoying twit, Sosuke focused on the present. “Please make yourself comfortable, Tia,” He said with a sarcastic grin.
His daughter rolled her eyes-an action abhorred by all parents, no matter how evil they may be-and huffed at her father, “Why did you ask to see me in here?” She made a sweeping motion with her hand toward the chair across from her father, “And what’s with the dead guy? Isn’t that the Kuchiki fukutaicho?”
“Well, he was…until he was demoted. This fool had the audacity to request entrance into our clan. As you can see, he was denied.” The small smile on his face mirrored that of his daughter. They were so alike.
“So, what does that have to do with me?” Tia asked nonchalantly.
“Well, he did have some useful information for me…regarding that young slave you’re so interested in.”
Aizen smirked as Tia sat straight up, now extremely invested in the conversation, “What did he say?”
“The boy defeated him in hand to hand combat…easily.” Green eyes widened considerably, “You see, darling, it seems as though your slave is actually a demon…and quite a powerful one at that.”
Tia shook her head in wonder and whispered to herself, “How did I not know about this?”
“He is unique. I’m not surprised you were unaware of his powers…he’s a very unnatural demon.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“That’s not your concern, love. Just know that I am highly motivated for you to have him.” Tia smiled happily as her father continued, “I brought you here to discuss how we’re going to make that happen…”
~X~
Rukia sat behind her ornate, wooden desk and waited for them to come. He’s almost here. She could hear their footsteps as they made their way slowly to her and a small, cruel smile played about her lips.
He’s so close.
Her sharp eyes watched the knob turn before the door was hesitantly pushed open. A fraction of a second later, Ichigo walked through the doorway and froze as he caught sight of Rukia. He zeroed in on her and for one fleeting moment, neither one of them could even attempt to breathe.
Ichigo was wearing the black sleeping pants she bought him a few weeks ago and a white cotton shirt with only three buttons done up. His hair was tousled and when he looked at her and unconsciously wet his lips, Rukia nearly jumped out of her skin. One look into those seductive eyes and Rukia’s resolve began to crumble. I can’t do this. FUCK, stop it, Rukia! You have to do this.
A moment later, the door opened wider and Ichigo moved to the side. Their eye contact was broken as Nel and Grimm filed solemnly into the room. With their emergence, the glacial glint returned to Rukia’s eyes and her resolve strengthened once more. Yes, of course he looks good, Rukia. Her mind chimed disparagingly, He’s always worn the ‘freshly fucked’ look so very well.
She said nothing as she continued to focus on the two interlopers. When Rukia did look at Ichigo again, his hands were stuck in his pockets as he stared intently at the ground. He looks so nervous… NO, dumbass, he just looks guilty. Her visage was the picture of serenity as she faced them all down and dared them to deny what she already knew.
xxx
Nel was worried. The second she walked into the room, she was worried.
For a woman who thought her lover had strayed, Rukia was entirely too calm and collected. If Nel was in her position, she would be spitting nails and breathing fire, however Rukia just sat quietly; hands folded primly in her lap with the iciest expression Nel had ever seen her wear. If not for her pitch black eyes, one could never tell that Rukia was enraged.
Ichigo was just making everything worse. Hell, I know the truth but to look at him, even I wouldn’t believe us. For some reason, he wouldn’t say anything and the way he was standing made him look as guilty as sin-really fucking gorgeous-but guilty, nonetheless. Unaware of the look in her own eyes, Nel looked at Ichigo and unconsciously licked her lips.
She gave him as much time as she could but when Ichigo just continued to stand there like a whipped dog, she decided to try and explain their situation. She gathered her wits and cleared her throat, drawing Rukia’s attention before she spoke, “You and I have been friends for a very long time and in all that time, I have never lied to you. I know that what you walked in on this morning must have looked highly suspicious…okay, it probably looked really fucking bad, but I swear to you…nothing happened. They were in their pajamas and I was in a gown at all times… Nothing was even close to happening.”
Rukia just raised her brows in response as Nel took another breath then continued, “Grimm and I heard a loud crash that seemed to be coming from your room, so we went to check it out.” Nel was a bit hesitant to continue. She cast a surreptitious glance at Ichigo; His head was still down but his body had stiffened noticeably. She wasn’t sure if he wanted Rukia to know what he did, but Nel decided that honesty was the best way to go right now. “Ichigo was…in a bad way.”
Rukia’s cold gaze never wavered as she cocked her head slightly, “Oh, please tell me what happened, Neliel. Tell me all about how upset Ichigo was and how he needed the comfort that only you could provide.” Rukia rose from her chair and plastered her palms on the desk as her anger began to surface. “Tell me how much he needed to feel your skin and how much he needed to breathe in your scent in order to feel good again. Please, tell me…I’d really like to know. You know what, Nel, why don’t you tell me just how fucking great it felt to make him feel good again?”
Nel gaped at her and realized that it did, indeed, look really, really bad. While she tried to think of the best way to explain things, Grimmjow decided he’d had enough.
“Fuck this,” He spat disdainfully. Rukia and Nel both turned to him as he spoke, “Look, Kuchiki, he was jacked up and cuttin his goddamn arm. He was so fuckin out of it that he didn’t even recognize us at first. Nel was just tryin to make sure the crazy sonuva bitch didn’t slit his fuckin wrists or some shit like that. That’s why he was in our room. We weren’t fuckin.” At the end of his rather succinct diatribe, Grimm crossed his arms across his chest and glared at Rukia like a petulant child.
Ichigo flinched and, if possible, dropped his head even lower.
Rukia’s expression didn’t falter. As much as she fought to suppress her response, his words managed to strike a chord deep within her. She hazarded a glance toward her love and saw that he was still avoiding her gaze. She didn’t have to see his eyes to notice that everything about him looked fucking wounded and she just wanted to cry for him. Where the hell did that come from? When she scanned his arms and saw the large bandage covering his right forearm, she felt guilt begin to gnaw at her insides. Stop it, stop it, stop it! You’re being weak! You can’t be weak. She couldn’t afford guilt right now, so Rukia shut that down as quickly as possible.
Rukia’s eyes shifted back toward the green-haired bitch and saw her looking at Ichigo with pity and something else. Something Rukia was all too familiar with herself…Nel was looking at Ichigo with hunger…just like she was last night during the little show ‘her boys’ put on. How dare she? Here they are, trying to convince me that I’m mistaken, and she looks like she could fucking eat him alive! Thankful for the distraction, Rukia felt rage coil and condense inside her belly. It felt good there…like it belonged.
Rukia knew better than anyone just how addictive Ichigo was, so she knew what Nel was thinking. After all, that bitch knew exactly what she was missing, so there was no way she wouldn’t screw his brains out if given the opportunity…and she’d been given the perfect opportunity. He was vulnerable and he was all alone. Of course she fucked him…I probably would have too.
Rukia could almost understand. If he didn’t belong to her…if she didn’t love him, she could understand and forgive Nel for her transgressions; but she did love him and now she had to…
Ichigo’s quiet words broke through her silent reverie. “They’re telling the truth,” His deep voice was rough; whether from emotion or disuse, she could not tell but as always, the sound of him sent a shot of heat straight to her core. She turned sharply toward him and was rewarded with a glimpse of those beautiful, haunted eyes. Rukia drank in the sight of them but even they failed to mute the one word her heart kept whispering:
Liar.
xxx
Ichigo was struggling. From the moment he walked into the room, it took everything he had to stay there. Everything was off for him: body, mind, and soul. Nothing felt right and he didn’t know how to fix it. He never did. That’s just who he was…A perpetual fuck up.
What I wouldn’t give for some Eros right now.
This morning, before his world came crashing down, Ichigo actually felt happy. He’d gotten through the night without doing something even worse than what he did. The sun was shining, the breeze was blowing, even the freaking songbirds were singing. Everything was finally going to be okay…Rukia was coming home and he was going to profess his sincere, undying affection before making sweet love to her for hours. He had felt such hope…such sickening, disgusting hope. While life may have seemed good for Ichigo this morning, he knew it was nothing more than an illusion. Last night, like so many nights before, he was a wreck-An out of control, weak, spineless creature and he knew it.
For some reason, he thought that maybe Rukia could heal him. He thought that maybe she had the antidote for what made him vile, but she didn’t…no one did. There was no cure for what ailed him.
She had to walk in and see him wrapped around Nel; had to see him kiss her. Fuck. When Ichigo saw that heartbroken look on her beautiful face, it paralyzed him. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, and the narrow window of opportunity he had to prove his innocence was slipping further and further away…and then she was just gone.
Looking back on it, he could have gone to her and begged her to believe him. In that moment, she would have trusted him…something told him that she would have believed him and never looked back. The selfish part of him was prepared to lie, cheat, and fuck his way back into her good graces. Instead, he had to be fucking noble and say nothing. Fighting that piece of himself was one of the hardest things Ichigo had ever done, but he owed her that much. Now, he was terrified that he was going to lose her. Fuck nobility…where the hell has it gotten me? He just wished he could rewind time and go with his initial instincts.
Too late now, I guess.
When he walked through the door and locked eyes with her, he thought-just for a moment-that maybe things could be okay. She was so beautiful and when she saw him, he thought her black eyes softened. He could almost feel her love from across the room. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her until she forgot all about what she saw and who he was…until she forgot about exactly how messed up he was. Until her eyes were blue. He could do it. He could make her forget-at least for a little while. After all, he was an excellent fucking whore.
When his friends walked in, whatever he thought he saw disappeared completely. In that instant, he couldn’t even try to stop himself from shutting down. Self-preservation could be a real bitch sometimes.
He knew that Nel was waiting for him to speak but he just couldn’t. If he tried to talk right now, he knew he’d screw everything up. The possibilities of what could have easily gone down last night rolled in the back of his mind. Just because they didn’t fuck didn’t mean he was innocent-he never would be. No, he felt so fucking guilty it hurt…because of what could have happened and if he let the truth slip, she’d hate him. So like the bitch he was, he let Nel explain everything. When she started to tell Rukia about the cutting, Ichigo stiffened. He didn’t like being weak and he sure as hell didn’t want Rukia to know that, yet again, he’d lost it.
Why would she want a weak pussy like you, Ich-i-go?
Ichigo agreed with his malicious inner voice and hung his head in shame.
When Rukia snapped at Nel, he wanted to defend her, but he didn’t. Rukia was so angry and he could tell that things were about to get bad, but he couldn’t make his voice cooperate. Fucking tongue won’t work. When Grimm blurted out that shit about his cutting, Ichigo flinched and unconsciously scratched at his wounded arm. He wanted to scream at his best friend to shut the fuck up, but that didn’t work either. Broken motherfucking tongue.
He couldn’t keep going like this. It was wrong and so unbelievably weak to let his friends take the heat for him. He should be doing this. No matter what the hell’s wrong with me, this is all my fault and I need to man the fuck up and handle my shit. Ichigo felt strength slowly seeping back into his shocked body. He did his best to purge his inherent, self-pitying bullshit and looked up. Rukia was staring hard at Nel as he tried to force the words from his mouth.
Say something. Say something, ya fuckin freak!
“They’re telling the truth,” He blurted out. His throat was so raw that he wasn’t sure she’d be able to hear him, but she did. When Rukia focused on him, Ichigo swallowed his panic and did the best he could to beat his guilt into submission. With great determination, Ichigo slowly raised his eyes up to hers.
“Nothing happened last night…I swear.” He almost choked on his hypocrisy, “I was just really…messed up and they were trying to make sure that I didn’t do anything stupid.” He ran a hand through his unruly hair and sighed deeply as he squeezed his eyes shut, “Well, anything more stupid than I’d already done, I guess. All of this is my fault for being such a fucking idiot and I’m so sorry.” Yeah, sorry for being a disgusting piece of trash. “We didn’t lie to you… I didn’t lie to you. I swear.” When she said nothing, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. Of course she doesn’t believe you…why would she? Why don’t ya tell her the fuckin truth? No, no, no, no…nothing happened last night and that’s what’s important. I love her and she needs to know that. That’s what’s important.
Before he lost his nerve, he stared at her and spoke to her straight from his heart, “I don’t think you understand, Rukia. I love you. I love you more than anything in this fucking world and I don’t want anyone else. I never will. No matter what I’ve done in this life, my heart belongs to you. Only you, Rukia…it has always been yours.”
Rukia seemed to consider his words for a moment before standing and walking towards him. Ichigo stiffened in surprise and not a little bit of apprehension. This was Rukia, after all…she was nothing if not unpredictable. Imagine his surprise when she grabbed his face and kissed him softly.
xxx
Hearing her name on his lips was pure heaven and she would never forget his words-they were beautiful. However, Rukia refused to bend so easily and hardened herself against the destructive power of his voice.
On one hand, she didn’t blame him for this whole mess…she couldn’t. After everything she’d subjected him to, why would he be honest with her about anything? Why would he tell such a cruel, heartless bitch about his past when he’d already been punished severely for such things before? He certainly wouldn’t admit to last night’s indiscretion…in his mind, that would be tantamount to suicide. In the end, he was just a kid…just a fucked up kid who’d been used and broken too many times to count. How could she expect him to act any differently?
Self-preservation could turn even the most honest soul into a liar.
The problem was-God help her-that she was actually starting to believe him about last night. There was something about him that was screaming honesty right now, but Rukia wasn’t sure if she could trust her instincts where Ichigo was concerned.
The conflict within her soul grew heavy when she heard that he had, yet again, deliberately maimed his precious body. The guilt of knowing that she was the cause of his suffering waged a bloody war with the rage that clawed at her soul.
If he was guilty, then intellectually, she understood why he did it. She’d put him through so much that it was no wonder he would seek comfort from someone he considered a friend. Emotionally, though, she couldn’t understand it. She would never fucking understand it. How could he claim to love me and sleep with someone else? Rukia knew that Ichigo couldn’t help how he was…but there would be no stopping her vengeance.
Making him hurt again was repugnant to Rukia, but she kept telling herself that at least it wouldn’t be a physical punishment. She wouldn’t break the promise she made to herself. No more blood. In spite of all her internal debates, however, she still failed to convince herself that mental torment was somehow better.
Gaaahhh! Why can’t I stop thinking this way? All of the rationalization in the world can’t change the fact that he did this. Damnit! I can’t even think the words. No matter what his motivations had been, Ichigo was still in bed with her, he was still wrapped around her body, and he still kissed her like she was the most precious thing in the world to him. As the pictures flashed through her mind again, she managed to keep her face composed. However, with every vivid image, Rukia was choking on her jealousy.
Even though Rukia could certainly understand his reasons, knowing that did nothing to quell the stabbing pain of betrayal that made her every breath so difficult to take. Her heart ached for him, but that didn’t mean she could automatically forgive him for all his transgressions. Nothing could erase the pain of knowing her beloved had been with another.
Nothing.
She could no longer afford to entertain such crippling weaknesses…it was time to move forward with her plan. She could not allow her own volatile emotions to get the best of her today. He had to understand. They all had to understand. They all had to feel what she felt-even Ichigo.
She would not believe that Ichigo was innocent. She couldn’t afford to. He was lying. Right now, there was no other option for Rukia. She had to believe they were lying and proceed as such.
So Rukia did the only thing she could think of…she pushed her pathetic sentiments down deep and let her demonic instincts lead the way. He fucked her, he fucked her, he fucked her! Nooo, this is his precious Neli…I’m sure he made sweet, passionate love to her while her fuckhot boyfriend watched. She mentally gave herself a pat on the back. There now, that’s better. A line had been crossed and things just couldn’t stay the same. Rukia wasn’t that forgiving. There will be no more sympathy for him…no one betrays me without consequence. No one.
She wanted to know more. She needed more and would do what she had to in order to find her answers. She was ready. She could do this. She would stay strong. She knew that in time, she could forgive Ichigo for the things he’d done, but right now, he had to pay for his actions. He knew the rules…he chose to break them. There was no way any of them would come out of this unscathed.
To bring her plans to fruition, it was imperative that Rukia keep a clear head and a tight rein on her heart. She couldn’t afford to let her emotions distract her…intense focus was required.
The small demon rose determinedly from her seat, righteous indignation fueling her every step, and walked calmly to stand in front of Ichigo. As she drew near, his spine straightened of its own volition and Rukia saw the flicker of unease that passed through his eyes. She liked the cautious look in his eyes as he stood uncertainly before her. Clever boy.
She didn’t stop until their bodies were nearly touching and then raised her hands to either side of his face. He hesitated only a split second before relaxing into her touch. Gotcha.
Rukia took a moment to bask in the feel of his skin against hers before she pulled his head down to her level and kissed him softly.
His whole body seemed to relax against her as he wrapped her gently in his arms. A beautiful, but cautious smile lit his face and he sighed with relief, “Does that mean you believe me?”
“Shhh,” She cut him off by pressing a finger to his mouth. She smiled enigmatically and ran her thumb back and forth across his succulent bottom lip before she leaned up and kissed him again. Optimism warred with extreme caution on his expressive face.
“Do you love me?” She asked as her hands slid from his face to his neck.
Grimm and Nel exchanged worried glances as Rukia continued to kiss and pet Ichigo. Both were ready to intervene at a moment’s notice if she became violent and as such, were focused intently on the couple.
“I do,” He said without faltering.
“Do you tell me the truth?” Her hands went to the top button on his shirt and slipped it free.
Ichigo’s breath caught but he couldn’t look away from her black eyes, “I do.”
She cocked her head and smiled playfully, but there was nothing playful about her voice, “Always?” She slid the last two buttons out and opened the shirt, exposing his chest.
Ichigo swallowed hard as he stared into her smoldering gaze. Her manner puzzled him…the Rukia he knew was way too jealous to show his body like this. He was worried about her. “Yes.”
“Then for argument’s sake, let us say that I do believe you. Let us say that nothing happened or even came close to happening last night. That is what you want me to believe, isn’t it?
Ichigo, wary of Rukia’s intent and more than a little freaked out by her calm demeanor, nodded solemnly in response. “Well, since you’re being so honest, do you think that if I asked you another question, you could answer me honestly?” She laid her palms flat against his smooth skin-on either side of his heart-and placed a chaste kiss between them.
“Yes…I will.” His breathing picked up and as her fingernails raked lightly over his nipples, he hissed in pleasuare. Ichigo cast a surreptitious glance toward Nel and Grimm and he actually blushed which didn’t make any damn sense. They’d seen and done practically everything with him…why is he blushing right now? Ichigo didn’t know why, but he couldn’t stand that they were watching what should have been a private moment…Why the hell is she doing this? He tried to stop her playful teasing by flattening her hands with his own. “Baby, not now, okay.” He whispered and nodded toward the couple watching their every move.
In an instant, Rukia’s eyes hardened and her hands fisted beneath his. Any semblance of playfulness was abandoned. “Do you think I care if they’re watching us, Ichigo?” She hissed, “I know you don’t.” She shoved him backwards and stalked angrily away. When she reached her desk, she turned to face all of them once more. “Don’t lie to me, Ichigo…I’ll know if you do.” She said coldly.
Ichigo’s brow furrowed, bewildered by her abrupt about face, “Just tell me what you want to know.”
Rukia took a deep breath and stared at his beautiful face. She needed to hear him say it, “Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you’ve never fucked Nel?”
She watched with malicious satisfaction as the color drained from his face.
The only sound to be heard in the room was Grimmjow’s muttered, ‘Fucking hell,’ as he moved to stand protectively at the side of his friend.
Rukia narrowed her eyes at the two of them. “What’s the matter, Ichigo?” She asked with a cruel smile, “It’s a simple question. Did you or did you not have sex with that woman?”
Grimm was about to tear into her when he was interrupted by Ichigo’s voice.
“Yes.” His quiet admission caught both of them by surprise. Grimm gaped openly at him while Rukia just stared with cold satisfaction. He never lifted his eyes from the floor and she could feel the weight of dread that one word carried.
Even though she knew the answer before she asked, his words still hit her hard. Rukia wanted to cry, scream, curse, and kill…she hid her emotions with a smirk. “Look at me, Ichigo.” He raised tortured amber eyes to her face, “I want to know everything.”
Ichigo looked uncomfortable and confused and he shook his head slowly, “What more do you want to know, Rukia?
Rukia pounced like an angry tigress, “I want to know everything that happened between you and your good friends?” As the light of recognition dawned in his eyes, he swallowed hard and Rukia watched his fingernails dig into the skin of his arm and draw blood. She did her best to ignore the self-destructive behavior and focused instead on her revenge, “Perhaps you’d like to tell me about how close the three of you really are?”
Grimmjow didn’t care that Rukia was a powerful demon; all he knew was that she was hurting his friend and he didn’t like it. The blue-haired man stepped menacingly toward her and his growl would have done any demon proud, “Leave him the fuck alone, Kuchiki.”
“Grimm, don’t…” Nel grabbed the angry man and pulled him away from the other woman. She really didn’t want things to get violent.
Rukia looked mildly amused at his show of bravado and smirked at him, “My, my…so protective, Grimmy.” She leaned against her desk and tapped one perfectly manicured nail against her bottom lip, “I wonder why that is, hmmm?”
Rukia pushed off the desk and walked slowly toward her silent lover, stalking him as if he was her prey. Once again, she didn’t stop until she was nearly flush against his body. Ichigo didn’t move a muscle as she approached and his eyes seemed to be begging her to cease all this. The woman in Rukia wanted to stop, but the demon inside was goading her to do her worst. Right now, the demon was more powerful than the woman.
She smiled sensually as she ran her hands up Ichigo’s torso and let them rest at the base of his neck. “Oh, I get it. I didn’t at first, but I think I understand now,” She said thoughtfully as she stared into his eyes. “You see, I know how close the three of you were at Seireitei…that every time Nel paid for Grimm’s company, she paid for yours.” Ichigo shut his eyes and turned his head away from her. “What I don’t know is this…” Ichigo stopped breathing as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck and whispered into his ear, “Did he fuck you too, Ichigo?” That got her the reaction she’d been seeking.
Amber eyes widened as his mouth hung open in shock. Ichigo looked absolutely horrified and shook his head in vehement denial, but he didn’t say anything. Rukia didn’t think he could say anything. His breathing became erratic the words seemed to be lodged in his throat.
Seeing him struggle like that filled her with a perverse sense of satisfaction and she gave no quarter, “Oh, I suppose I had it wrong then? Was it you who did him?” He shook his head even harder, trying to convey his thoughts without speech. The most demented parts of Rukia enjoyed his panic and tried to throw him even further off balance when she ran her hands across his nipples. His breath hitched in his throat as she grazed them…he’d always been so sensitive there. Ichigo pushed at her hands and tried to back away, but the wall stopped his retreat and she would not be deterred. When Rukia ran her tongue across his collar bone and sucked on the flesh there, his hands fell helplessly away.
She had him. He looked so vulnerable and confused at her treatment of him, but she saw the shiver that went through his body and the glint of lust in his eyes.
“N-No!” Ichigo finally found his voice, but he was so off kilter that he was still having trouble articulating, “Hell no, NEVER! I wouldn’t…He wouldn’t…I mean, w-we just…”
“You just, what?” She interrupted with a small laugh. She leaned down slightly and took one nipple into her mouth, swirled her tongue around, and then sucked it hard. When he gasped in pleasure, Rukia stood straight again and kissed him hard. As she stroked his cock through the thin material of his pants, a part of Rukia was sickened by her actions, but a bigger part of her just wanted him to hurt. She looked him dead in the eye to deliver her verbal death blow, “You like this, don’t you, Ichigo? Did they do this to you? Did they make you this hot? You are such a bad boy, Ichigo…fucking your best friend and his woman? It’s just so filthy. I mean, I always knew you were shameless, but I never had any idea you were this bad.” Rukia’s venomous diatribe had its intended effect as Ichigo went white as a sheet. His already tightly-wound body went positively rigid beneath her hands. Her young lover’s eyes were full of shock and pain.
Nel couldn’t believe that Rukia was being so cruel and was about to speak up in defense of her friend. Grimm, however, had it covered. He was beyond pissed at what she was doing and he’d never been one to stand quietly by. “I said leave him alone, you mother fucking BITCH!” He screamed at the small woman and her attention shifted to him. She pushed slightly away from Ichigo’s tense body and moved to his friend. She looked him up and down with a sultry smile and licked her lips, “Mmmm…I don’t blame you, Ichi, he is a gorgeous creature.”
He growled low in his throat, “Ichigo wouldn’t do that shit…you know what he’s been through and you are one sick, twisted slut to even think it. What the hell is your problem, Kuchiki?”
Rukia felt unwelcome guilt assail her as his words prodded waning conscience. He was right…she was sick and twisted to think such things. She knew Ichigo could never do something like that. Right now, though, that didn’t matter; she had a purpose and this was a means to an end. Rukia shut down the guilt, avoided looking at Ichigo, and continued goading the other male, “Ichigo wouldn’t, hmmm? What about you, Grimmy? Would you ever do something like that?” Rukia saw Grimm’s eyes narrow and his lips thin in irritation, so she pressed her advantage, “You want him, don’t you Grimm? Not even you are immune to him.” She feigned shock at her own revelations, “It must have been so hard for you to stop yourself when he was pounding your woman and all you wanted was to pound him…I’m really amazed by your restraint.”When she ran a sharp nail down the exposed portion of his chest, Nel moved faster than any of them could see and threw Rukia against her desk.
“You keep your goddamned hands off of him!” The green-haired woman hissed in outrage before she regained some semblance of control.
Now, that’s what I want to see, Rukia thought maliciously, Show me just how much he means to you…
“What the hell is the matter with you? Why would you say something like that to him? You’ve always been a bit cold, but never vindictive…not like this. I understand that you’re hurt and angry, but you shouldn’t be saying these things and you definitely shouldn’t be putting your hands on my man! You love Ichigo and he loves you. That’s all that matters!”
She stood up slowly and stared at Nel with such hatred, that the green-haired woman took a step back. Then, as if nothing had happened, Rukia shrugged and turned towards Ichigo, “I bet she just loved having both of you inside her at the same time…didn’t she, Ichigo?”
“Rukia!” Nel shouted, outrage written plainly on her face. Her eyes grew cold as she faced down the smaller woman, “Stop it! Whatever we may or may not have done in the past is irrelevant. The important thing is that nothing happened last night. We didn’t lie to you, so you’re doing all of this for nothing!“
Her words sparked Rukia’s anger and she shoved herself away from Ichigo. Turning toward Nel, she practically screamed, “Nothing? You call fucking the man I love…nothing?” Rukia immediately berated herself and reined in her anger. It’s time for this bitch to pay. When Rukia closed her eyes for a few seconds, Nel thought it was an attempt to regain her composure. That incorrect assumption would be her downfall.
This is it. It’s time.
Rukia slowly opened her eyes and smiled eerily at her nemesis before uttering three, softly-spoken words, “I bind thee.” In an instant, Nel was thrust backwards by an unseen force and slammed into the wall behind her.
“Nel!” Grimmjow shouted and attempted to run to her side.
Rukia used sonido and shoved him back, “She’s not hurt…only bound by my kidou. As Nel is well aware, I am somewhat of a kidou prodigy…She should have been better prepared to fend me off. After all, at my young age, one can’t become third seat of the Kuchiki Clan without having a great deal of power. While my combat skills and physical strength are lacking, I excel in the demon arts. I could have done much worse to your bitch, but I didn’t so settle the fuck down!” Rukia said coldly as she gave an elegant shrug, “In spite of my considerable talents, Nel is an old and incredibly powerful blood demon and with her level of power, she’ll work her way free in a matter of minutes.” A wicked glint entered the small demon’s eyes, “Which is why I need to chain her up.” When Grimm protested and tried to push past her again, Rukia slapped him, hard enough to put him on the ground. “Now, you act like a good little boy and I won’t hurt her. However, if you give me any problems…she’s going to be in a lot of pain.”
“You bitch!” Nel screeched, “Don’t touch him!” Rukia ignored her and glanced at Ichigo. He wasn’t lifting a finger to help either of them…in fact, he didn’t look like he even noticed what was happening.
Satisfied that Grimmjow and Ichigo would behave, Rukia pulled Nel’s arms roughly behind her back and wrapped the demonic chains securely around them. She did the same with her lower legs and then wrapped an even larger chain around the upper half of her torso and, just to be safe, reinforced them with some very high level kidou. When she finished, she sat Nel in a leather chair that sat about ten feet behind her desk, “There now…I do hope you’re comfortable, Neliel. You may be there for quite sometime.” Nel couldn’t move, but she glared daggers at her former friend, “I swear that you will pay for this, Rukia.”
Rukia haughtily tossed her raven tresses and looked down on the captured woman, “Maybe so, Nel, but it is you who will pay tonight and let me assure you that your punishment will be severe.”
xxx
Her cruel words and hateful accusations left Ichigo stripped bare. Every insecurity and self-deprecating thought he’d ever had was just confirmed to him by the one he loved and the agony of that was blinding. He felt the weight of her hatred and disgust as if it were an anvil on his throat. He was slowly suffocating and he didn’t think he could take much more.
Ichigo’s mind was bombarded by his inner demon’s malicious voice as he detachedly watched Rukia subdue Nel. She’s hurting them and it’s your fault, asshole. What the hell is wrong with ya? Ya can’t even help your friends…you’re totally fuckin worthless. Ya need to fix this but you’re too much of a pathetic pussy!
His demon was right. Ichigo was pathetic. Everything was beginning to take its toll on the young demon and he felt like he was about to break from the pressure. He closed his eyes and his head dropped to his chest. He was just too fucking tired to hold it up any longer. Blood dripped slowly from the wounded arm as his nails dug unconsciously deeper.
God, how I wish I didn’t love you, Rukia. Everything would be so much easier if you were just any other woman…
But she wasn’t just any other woman. For some reason, everything about Ichigo was tied to Rukia. A part of him wished he’d never even met her and never known how she could make him feel. It was too intense and all-consuming. He needed her-like he needed air to breathe-he needed Rukia. She was the all powerful creature that held his soul in a vice grip. She was elemental and without her…he wouldn’t want to live. Didn’t she know that she owned him-body, mind, and soul? Didn’t she understand her power? Of course she did. She knew he would do it-he would do anything for her…anything at was his life, so if there was anything he could do-any chance at all for him to be with her and finally be able to live a real life-he would do it. He finally opened his heavy lids and stared straight into her onyx eyes, “What do you want from me, Rukia? What do you want me to say and I’ll say it. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it.”
“That’s what I was hoping you’d say,” Rukia was in full ‘Kuchiki’ mode and somehow managed to look down upon the much taller male. “I just have one last question for you. You see, Ichigo, I have some…issues…regarding your loyalty to me-or lack thereof.” Ichigo tried to interrupt her but she held up a hand for silence. “Even in the short amount of time that we’ve known each other, you have been with other women, been dishonest, and, at times, have behaved atrociously. Now, to find out that the three of you were lovers and never said a word is…difficult…for me to stomach. Even so, I believe that you are telling me the truth right now and I am prepared to forgive you for everything.”
Ichigo extinguished the momentary flare of optimism that rose within him at her words. Instead, he steeled himself for whatever she would ask him next. “The only thing standing in the way of that forgiveness is my hesitancy to trust you to be faithful to me. So, I’m just going to come right out and ask you, Ichigo, and I hope that you will be honest with me.”
Ichigo swallowed the lump of dread forming in his throat. He didn’t like where she was going with this-not one, fucking bit.
Rukia’s turbulent eyes seemed to pierce his very soul and Ichigo could not look away, “Last night, if Nel wanted to be with you, would you have done it?”
For a moment, Ichigo stood frozen in disbelief…of all the things she could have asked, he never expected this. “Why would you ask me that?” He practically whispered in an effort to stall.
Her stare never wavered, “Because I want to know.”
Ichigo knew the answer to her question, but he wasn’t sure he could say the words. He wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear. Did she want the truth? Did she already know? The guilt of that answer had been weighing so heavily on him from the moment he saw her this morning.
It didn’t matter to him that, technically, he was innocent-if he could ever be called that-of any actual wrongdoing. It didn’t matter because he knew exactly what he was and what he was capable of. He felt guilty because he could have done it. He felt horribly guilty because he probably would have done it.
Probably? Who the hell was he trying to fool? He was so torn up last night that he would have done whatever it took to feel better. Even after their uplifting talk of love and hope; her encouragement and support…he would have done it. He would have screwed her, his love for Rukia be damned. He knew it as surely as he knew the sun would rise tomorrow.
Sex was all he knew-all he was good for. It was all he’d ever known. It’s all he was…weak, sick, and depraved. Whore.
That’swhy guilt slammed into him the moment he saw her standing in that room, looking positively stricken. A woman like Rukia should never be so sad and he knew he wasn’t good enough to make her happy. He knew it. All he wanted was to make her happy.
Che, like there was ever any shot at that, ya loser. You’re a fuckin disaster…ya ruin everything you touch.
That evil part of his mind that sought to drive him insane was right. Parents, sisters, Grimm and Nel, Rukia…I’m poison. They all deserve better than a sick motherfuckin monster. She deserves better.
Doesn’t matter, though, does it? You want her anyway…you want her bad.
Therein lay the crux of the matter. If she knew what he was really like, she would despise him; but she wanted the truth and he swore to be honest. Did he really have a choice?
She was going to hate him and he was going to lose her.
He didn’t want to do this now. He didn’t want to think and he most certainly didn’t want to fucking feel. He just wanted to get completely and utterly wasted. Drunk, high, a good bloodbath-he wasn’t picky. He’d take what he could get at this point. He wanted to get so fucking high on something that thinking and feeling wouldn’t even be in the realm of possibility, but he couldn’t. Not right now. Right now, he had to face Rukia. Right now, he had to man up. Right now, he wanted to be sick.
He worked up the nerve to look at everyone and saw that they were all watching him. The coldness in Rukia’s eyes, the pity in Nel’s, and the confusion in Grimm’s…they were all too much. He couldn’t meet any of their gazes as he spoke, “Does it matter? Nothing happened last night. Isn’t that good enough?”
“Why can’t you answer the question, Ichigo?” Rukia asked with an edge of steel to her voice.
Ichigo finally grew tired of the mental warfare and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Desperation filled his eyes and anger suffused his voice as he practically shouted, “What the hell do you want me to say, Rukia?”
She looked surprised for a moment to see him exhibit such ferocity but Ichigo didn’t care. He wasn’t stopping now, “I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else, but you know what? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t fucking matter because I am one seriously fucked up sonuva bitch. Do you want to know why?”
Ichigo gave a humorless bark of laughter at her look of surprise, “Because the really sick truth of the matter is, Rukia…I would have fucked her and my love for you wouldn’t have mattered. This is the woman my best friend is in love with and I would have fucked her brains out-whenever and however-and all she had to do was say the damn word!”
His declaration was met with shocked silence. “Is that what you wanted to hear, baby? Did you want to know how sick and depraved I really am?” Ichigo finally realized that his face was wet and angrily wiped away the moisture as he waited. He was waiting for everything he’d said to sink in and he knew that when it did, it would all be over. She would send him away and he would have nothing.
The silence was deafening, but after what seemed like a lifetime, Rukia began to slowly make her way to stand before him. Ichigo was more than a little surprised that she hadn’t attacked him yet, but he said nothing. It was her turn to speak.
When she leaned her head back to look at him, Ichigo was shocked to see fleeting gentleness in her black eyes. She placed one soft hand on his cheek and wiped away a stray tear, “Ichigo…it’s going to be alright. I can forgive you.” Ichigo almost melted from those softly spoken words. For a brief moment, his world had a ray of hope, and then she smiled sadly. “I can forgive you, Ichigo, but I need something first. I need something to make all of this right…to make it go away. I want things to go back to the way they were before, but I know myself and I can’t move on until I do this. There is only one thing that can make me forgive you, but once you do it…that’s it. I’ll never bring this up again and we can finally be happy. I’ll spend the rest of my life taking away your pain.”
That was all he wanted. Ichigo thought he’d screwed up and lost her forever, but she was offering him another chance at happiness. He didn’t hesitate, “Anything.” His voice was hoarse with emotion, but he meant it with every fiber of his being. He would do anything to gain her forgiveness.
Even if it killed him.
His soft words were so full of dread and devotion, that every person in the room felt their oppressive weight bearing down on them…suffocating them. “What do you need me to do?”
xxx
Rukia had long since passed the point of no return. What he’d just admitted to her had sealed his fate. As he spoke, it took everything she had not to kill Nel and Grimm just to punish him-to make him feel a portion of the grief and despair that she’d felt today. How could he say that? How could he mean it? Rukia had never been in love before, but she knew that she didn’t want any other men. It hurt to know that Ichigo could be with someone else. He’d left her no choice.
This was going to happen. Even so, when she saw the pain his admission caused him, it had a paradoxical effect on her-it made her heart bleed for him. Seeing tears from such a perfect creature was almost sacrilegious and it touched her deeply in spite of her rage. Just now, when he looked at her with such adoration, Rukia wanted to abandon her hellacious plan…but she couldn’t. There was no choice for her…the demon must be sated. It was either this or the death of two people he loved dearly. She was trying to be kind…
Rukia took a step away from Ichigo and swallowed her emotions once more. When she finally spoke, there was not a trace of shame or hesitation in her voice. She was a Kuchiki and she would not be denied. “It’s quite simple, actually. I want what she had. I want what you freely gave her time and again. I want you both.”
Rukia watched Ichigo closely and tried to gauge the effect of her words. What she saw was…nothing. He didn’t move or speak, and Rukia wasn’t entirely sure that he was breathing. There was nothing in his eyes…they were just empty.
Nel’s outraged gasp pulled Rukia’s attention as Grimmjow choked out disbelievingly, “Wh-what did you say?”
She turned slightly and held Grimm’s gaze, “I want you and Ichigo-right here, right now.” Her words held no mercy-not a hint of weakness apparent in their utterance. She could have been discussing the weather. She turned more fully toward the human, “It’s the only way that balance can be restored. That’s all I want.”
As he watched the last bit of light fade from his friend’s eyes, Grimmjow was incensed.
“Bitch,” He growled, “Have you lost your damned mind? There’s no way in hell I’m fuckin you!”
Rukia narrowed her eyes and gave him a cruel little smile, “I was hoping you’d say that.” She delivered a lightening fast kick to the side of Nel’s head, followed it up with a devilish left hook, and finished by using her nails to furrow into the delicate skin of her right cheek.
Grimm’s eyes went wide and when he tried to get to his woman, Rukia slowly shook her head and shoved him back into the wall, “I told you to be a good boy, didn’t I? I warned you of what would happen if you chose to cause problems. She is at my mercy…I can do anything I want to her and you can’t do a damn thing about it. Now do you understand?” When he said nothing she sent his head reeling to the side with a ruthless backhand, “Answer me!”
“Rukia,” Nel called out furiously, “Keep your fucking hands off him! Grimm, don’t listen to her, baby. You don’t have to do this…you know I’m tough enough to handle anything she could throw at me.”
“Che, like I would have, anyway.” Grimm scoffed as he rubbed his jaw, “There’s no fuckin way I’d do that to you or Ichigo. He’s in love with her…not that I can see anything to love about this heartless bitch.” He said between gritted teeth.
Before Rukia could raise another hand to the human, she found herself encased in Ichigo’s steely arms. She looked up, outraged by his interruption, and found his gold and black eyes staring down at her.
xxx
Ichigo knew something bad was coming, but he didn’t expect this. Once again, Rukia had surprised him. When she spoke those wretched words aloud, he fought hard to stay sane. He felt his heart stutter in his chest and his face paled, but his expression didn’t falter. I can’t do this. I cannot fucking do this. I would rather die than see someone else touching her…and Grimm? My best fucking friend? I can’t!
An eerie sort of calm descended on him after a few seconds. He thought back on her words and imagined how wonderful it would be to live a real life with her and things became very clear. Even though it would be horrible to watch them together, Ichigo knew he could do it…with a little help from his dark side. I have to. She needs this and I deserve it. I need to be punished for my wicked ways and she’s always known what I need. As fucked as it is, this is my life-she is my life-and without her, it’s not worth living. I’ll do whatever it takes to make her love me again…even this. He watched as Rukia hurt Nel and Grimm and he knew that he had to fix everything. It was all his fault, so it was up to him to make this right. Ichigo felt his humanity slip away as his demonic form took seemed to shake out of his daze just in time to stop Rukia from hitting Grimm again. As much as he loved her, he couldn’t stand by and watch her abuse his family. When Ichigo saw that Rukia had calmed down a bit, he walked right past her and stood face to face with his best friend. “Grimm…please.”
Grimmjow didn’t have a chance to respond as Nel’s agitated voice rang out, “No, Ichigo! Don’t ask him to do this! What’s wrong with you!”
“You,” Rukia hissed and turned toward her green-haired nemesis, “need to shut the fuck up and let them talk!” A fraction of a second later, Nel was writhing in pain, but didn’t make a sound. After a moment, Rukia lifted her head and the pained expression left Nel’s face. “I’ve placed another binding spell to keep you from speaking but the other one-the one that hurt-that was just for fun. You need to let your human make his own decisions, Neliel.”
Grimm looked seriously pissed off at the treatment Nel was receiving but said nothing for fear the small demon would hurt her further.
Ichigo felt beyond frustrated at the entire situation. He didn’t want this anymore than Grimm did, but he had no choice. This was his penance for being wicked…his trial by fire. It was also the only way to get her back and he’d be damned before he let Grimm ruin it for him. It would hurt his heart and shame him to the core, but Ichigo would fight dirty if he had to. He’d play on his friend’s love and guilt, but no matter what he had to do. Rukia would get what she wanted.
He couldn’t look at Nel or Grimm-his shame was too great-but that didn’t stop him. As disgusted as he was with himself, Ichigo knew that he wouldn’t stop until he fixed what was broken inside of Rukia. She was everything…Nothing else mattered.
His eyes spoke volumes for the misery he felt as he cleared his throat and forced the hated words,”I’m so sorry, but do you honestly think I would ask if I thought there was any other way? You know I love you and Nel and I’m just so fucking sorry…” His voice cracked and Ichigo had to clear it to continue, “I know that all of this is my fault, but she needs this and, even if I wish I didn’t…I need her.”
Grimm swallowed hard in the face of his friend’s pain, but shook his head, “Ya know I fuckin love you, Ichi, and I would do anything else for you, but I can’t do this.” Grimmjow nodded toward Nel, “I love her with everything I am and I can’t do that shit to her…or to you.”
Intense amber eyes locked with electric blue as Ichigo quietly pleaded with his best friend. “Sleeping with someone else doesn’t mean you don’t love Nel. You know that better than anyone. We’ve done it before-so many times-and you loved her then, but you still did it. You did it because you had to, just like I have to do it now…and I can’t give her what she wants without you. I swear, Grimm, this will be the last time…just once more and it’s over. Please…” Grimmjow looked away from his friend’s unwavering gaze and shook his head. Ichigo felt his refusal like a physical blow. It wasn’t working. Grimmjow wasn’t going to help him.
Ichigo had no pride left…he had nothing left to lose. His hands fisted for a moment before he relaxed them and sank to his knees in front of his most trusted friend. He bowed his head in supplication before speaking softly, “In all the time we’ve known each other, I’ve never asked you for anything, but right now, I’m begging for your help.” Ichigo raised his head and locked eyes once more, “Please, Grimm…I need you.” He practically whispered the last and Grimmjow couldn’t take anymore. He was horrified to see Ichigo on his knees, staring at him like a wounded animal. When he tried to pull him to his feet, the stubborn bastard wouldn’t budge, so Grimm joined him on the ground. He gripped the right side of Ichigo’s neck and pulled his friend forward until their foreheads barely touched. Ichigo did the same and both of them closed their eyes. Words weren’t necessary…
At Seireitei, this had been their ritual when things became too much to bear. The first time it happened was a few days after they met; when Grimmjow found him cutting. On that day, Ichigo was sitting in a corner, knees drawn up, rocking back in forth with the blade of a dagger clenched in his lacerated hand. He was a bloody mess and didn’t even realize there was someone else in the room with him. Seeing him so completely devastated made Grimmjow’s blood boil and something inside of him shattered-maybe it was the ice around his heart? Whatever it was, he suddenly knew that it was his job to make sure this boy survived…to make sure this kid had a better life than he ever did.
Grimm knew the hell that Ichigo was going through. He’d been through it himself…many times. He knew what it felt like to lie beaten and broken on the ground, blood pouring out of your body, while some sadistic fucker ripped your soul away. He knew the pain, the shame, and the self-hatred that came along with it. He knew it all and it made him sick to know that this bright kid had to feel that. Just like Ichigo, he was alone. There was no one to help him; no one to soothe his mind or heal his body. He was utterly alone. Grimm never had anyone to help him, no matter how many times he wished for someone to save him, he was always alone. If nothing else, he would make sure that Ichigo had someone.
Grimmjow wasn’t a nurturer by any stretch of the imagination, but he knew he had to do something. The older male had a faint recollection of the way his mother used to comfort him as a young child and he remembered the peace he felt at her touch, so he decided to give it a shot. At first, Ichigo fought him like a demon possessed-his wounds still too fresh- but, after a few minutes of talking more gently than Grimmjow ever knew he could, the boy finally recognized who he was and stopped fighting. When Grimm hesitantly touched his neck, Ichigo flinched but allowed it. When he pulled him closer and touched his head, Ichigo let out a heavy sigh, but he wasn’t the only one who felt relief. Grimmjow felt that familiar peace wash over him and let out his own sigh. In that moment, they became more than friends; closer than brothers. Theirs was a bond forged by the fires of adversity and tempered in the waters of trust. The boys knew that if nothing else, they would always have each other to lean on. Finally, they wouldn’t be alone anymore.
There was never really any question. Ichigo needed him and Grimm could never let him down.
xxx
Rukia stared in awed silence at the sight before her. It looked so personal; as if she were intruding on some timeless ritual. She took a step back and tried to look away-to give them some semblance of privacy-but her eyes refused to obey her command.
The two most beautiful creatures she’d ever laid eyes on, embracing, communicating without words. It seemed so profound…almost sacred. Even still, she couldn’t tear her eyes away. If she didn’t know better, Rukia would think her earlier accusations were actually true…They looked like two lovers comforting each other.
Intellectually, Rukia knew that what they shared was brotherly love, but she couldn’t quite convince her body of that fact. Seeing them there, even fully clothed and barely touching, was one of the most erotic things she’d ever witnessed. In that instance, Rukia lost focus. It didn’t matter what Ichigo had done in his past and revenge was nowhere in sight. The only thing that mattered-the only thing she saw or felt-was pure, unadulterated lust. The things she wanted to do to them and see them do to each other were so evil and corrupt that, for a moment, they gave Rukia pause. Could she do those things? Could she make them cooperate? Would Ichigo actually go through with it? Yes, yes, yes! She could do it. Ichigo was so broken that she could manipulate him into doing whatever she wanted and Grimm would do whatever his friend needed. It was obvious how Grimm felt about his younger friend, even if Ichigo refused to see it. It would be so easy…
As though nothing had just happened, Grimmjow rose from his feet and went over to stand before Nel. She shook with unexpressed emotion and raised tear-filled eyes to his. He leaned down and kissed her softly. “You know I love you…but I love him too and right now, he needs me. I know you can handle this because you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known…but I’m still so fuckin sorry, baby.” Her tears fell unchecked as Grimm caressed her cheek.
Rukia watched Ichigo as he watched his friends. He only looked at them for a few seconds, but in that short amount of time, Rukia saw a lifetime of bitter anguish and self-loathing in his beautiful eyes and it served to snap her out of her sex-induced haze.
She recalled the things she had just been planning and felt absolutely retched. How could I even think those things? What kind of monster am I to want him to feel such pain…to desire for him such degradation? The very worst kind…I was going to do worse things to him than Yoruichi ever has…Worse, probably, than Aizen Sosuke himself would ever do. He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve ME…he is so good and he should have nothing but the best! She had been a soulless demon for too long and could never love him the way he deserved…but she would always love him. In that moment, Rukia knew that she would do whatever it took to keep him safe from her cruelty. She knew he would never leave her on his own, so she would have to force him in the worst way she could imagine.
She had to save him.
Nothing else mattered…